Tuesday, July 12, 2011

My ex's smelly feet again, PLUS an added bonus!

My ex's smelly feet again, PLUS an added bonus!
Author Unknown

So my ex calls me up in the morning and tells me that she gets off work at around 2pm, and to just go to her house and wait on her to get off work, she might be a little bit late. So I show up, and her mom quickly told me that she just called and said that they are backed up really bad today and it will be about 20 minutes. Then her mom leads me into the living room, offers me a beverage. So i sit down. Then all of a sudden, her older sister shannon walks into the room. Shannon is 25 years old and is a currently doing an internship as an accountant and apparently she just got off of work for the day. She was wearing the business woman type of wear with white pantyhose on, and regular black high heels. Her sister walks into the room, smiles and says "hey, what's up?" I told her how I would be waiting just a while before her sister got home. Shannon was like "well, I KNOW how boring my parents can be, so if you'd like you can come hang out in my bedroom until my sister gets home." And man o man, I had no idea what I was in for. I sit down on her bed and she just lays back on her pillow, still wearing her shoes. First words out of her mouth are, "You know, my sister has told me a lot about you and your little thing with stinky feet." And I'm one of those kind of people who get embarassed easily, so I sort of blush and turn away. So then she says, "I tell you what kiddo, I will personally give you 5 bucks if you can stand to smell my stinky feet for 12 minutes, half of the time with my pantyhose on, the other half without them on, are you up for a challenge?" So then I said, with a huge smile, "Well sure, but why do you call it a challenge?" Shannon replies with "well I know you've smelled my sisters feet and I agree they are really bad, but mine are even worse than hers...I can't even take my shoes off at work because it really ticks my boss off." So before I could even comment on that, she kicks both shoes off onto the floor and is like "Smell this!" OH MY GOOD GOD, Shannon's feet were the stinkiest ever! The smell of these made her sisters seem quite mild. Instantly I coughed because I was at a loss of breath upon taking my first big whiff of these. We're talking female size 10, at their worst!!! Shannon then giggled and said, "You're not giving up now, are you? When I take off these pantyhose, the best is yet to come." I sniffed her feet in the pantyhose for a little while longer, but now I was ready for the best. So she took off her pantyhose and yes, my friends, she was certainly not kidding. I coughed a few times when I smelled these. But i kept up my smelling for what seemed like eternity (an eternity in heaven, that is!!), and then we heard someone opening up the garage door and we figured it was her younger sister just getting home from work. By then her sister just looked at me, handed me $5 and said "I gotta hand it to you, you really do like them stinky." But I quickly gave her the money back and said, "Tell you what, I feel like im robbing you, if you let me smell these feet whenever I see you, we'll call it even." She just laughed and said "alright kiddo, i think we got ourselves a deal!" Next thing I know her sister was right in the doorway of the room we were in and she just laughs really hard and says, "I told you he loved stinky feet!" Then she hops up on the bed to and tells me, "Well, knock yourself out!" So I take off her sneakers, once again no socks, and sniff away for probably a half hour, with her sister sticking her toes up to my nose on commercial breaks from her tv show. GOD I LOVE THAT FAMILY!!! What's going to be next? Their neighbor's? Their mom's???

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