Friday, July 8, 2011

Helen and her Daughter


Helen and her Daughter

By Author Unkown

Last spring I was in a tight situation some of you may be familier with. I'd been unenployed for awhile and needed a job, I no longer had a working car and the friends who I was living with really needed me to move on. I was despriate for a Job and that was when I went and filled out an application at the print shop where I am now "employed"

Helen, the owner was known throughout town as a real hard person to work for. She really grilled me in the interview and soon discovered I did not have a car and lived quite a few miles away, Then she found out I'd half to move soon anyway. She came up with a deal for me, she'd sell me her used car, plus sub-lease the appartment above the print shop. but I'd have to do both if I wanted the job. I thought this sounded great then I found out she wanted a deposit plus first and last months rent which I would owe her, she came up with paperwork for a lease, paperwork for loaning the car and stuff to sign saying she could make the appropriate deductions from my salery, since I'd owe her all the deposit money I woulnd't even start paying off the car until spring and went I hesitated she said " Well do you want this job or don't you?" I phrase I would soon get use to. I agreed (I had no choice ) joking that I'd signed my life away she laughed at that and so did her seventeen year old daughter Carol.

It was apparrent from the start that they where going to be demanding employers, and after my first week (and my first pay check when I realized all my money went to paying bills and I had to beg an advance from helen just to eat) the full degree of my situation became clear. Helen came in during lunch, she'd been on the road and it had been blazing hot, her feet inside her shoes where steaming and sweaty and her ancles hurt, she sat down and demanded that I kneel before her.

" Dam it's hot I need a foot rub, get over here and do my feet." I hesitated, it isn't the ussual thing a boss says and she let out " You want this job don't you?" I knelt down and started taking off her shoes, The sweat drenched them and they smelt real strong, she stretched her right foot up and said thoughtfully. " I need to put my feet up, and I don't know if I'd rather have you message my ankles or just fan my feet thier so hot."

Suddenly a smile crossed her face, you know like when someone gets a brillant idea that solves a problem, she pulled a little folding fan out of her desk draw and opening it shoves it into my mouth, before I had any idea what she was doing her foot was pressing against my shoulder " bend over backward so that I can rest my feet on your chest"

Thier I was kneeling and bending over backward stairing up at the bottom of helen's pretty feet (and don't forget I had a fan in my mouth. " Now you can fan my feet, jsut starting nodding your head, plus your hands are free to give me a message." I hesitated just a second and she said " Or you can sleep on a park bench and panhandle your car payments." Carol came out of the bathroom and Helen called her over to see how cleaverly she had put me to work. " Ma you really know how to get the most out of a slave, your a genious" " It's nothing wait until you see the occilation mode. " with that she had me begin occilating, fanning first her left foot and then her right, all the while rubbing her ankles. My legs where aching from being bent over backwards and my head almost felt like falling off but she made me keep it up for over an hour. Things only got worse, one day after lunch Carol and Helen came in from shooting hoops outside (thier both real athletic and Carol (who always chews gum had spit some out and stepped on it during the game, by now she had it firmly stuck to the bottom of her sneaker. " Get over here and kneel down." I quickly guessed she meant me but didn't realise what she had intended. " Open up, and stick out your jaw."

When I did she pulled off her her sneaker and was about to scrapp the bubble gum off the bottom of her sneaker with my lower teeth. I in voluntarily pulled away and she yelled over to Helen, " Ma can I fire this shit head ?" " Any time you want." was thier answer so then she made me stay perfectly still as she began to scrapp off the gum. It took awhile and as she did it the ball of her sneaker rubbed hard against my top lip, nose and eyes. When she had gotten it all off she knocked the sand out of her sneaker using my head for this purpose then did the same with the other shoe as well. Since she had ordered me to stay still I had to keep my mouth open all this time and whatever was in ether shoe fell into my mouth. She then ordered me to go ahead and swollow the gum that had just come off her sneaker. After that day she would chew her gum and spit it out onto the floor when she was done saying " Get that shit head" I had to run over and swallow it at once right off the floor.

Summer was tough but I had no idear what was instore for me. One friday the plumbing went cracy and backed up, I cleaned it up and the building management company sent a maintance man to snake it out, By the afternoon it was overflowing again. Apparrently something hard was stuck in the line, water and piss could go bye but it caught up paper or any other solids that went down the toilet jamming the whole system up. The maintenance man Said that they would have to send a plummer in on monday, until then helen and Carol would have to put any toilet paper into the trash basket and if any of us had take a shit we'd have to go to the all night gas station/convience store across the street. Well Helen didn't like the sound of that, we'd be open till seven that night and still hand to work saterday, While I mopped up in the bathroom they where talking to themselfs and looking at me, I don't know which one came up with this brillant plan but it was ready soon enough. The next time helen took a pee she called me over after she was finnished. Helen had gone ahead and dropped the paper into the toilet after wiping herself and expected me eat the paper before she flushed it. I started to reach my had in and she yelled, "What's wrong with you, just stick yourhead in and eat it."

The only one who uses the bathroom is Barb, she is a sales rep who sells printing services to clients and stops in to the office two days a week, Helen just told her not to flush the toilet as thier was a plumbing problem and just to tell me becuase I knew what steps had to be taken. After a few weeks (when the landlord found out the plumbing problem was sabatoge due to a passed employee he refused to fix it which of cource was no problem for anyone but me) though I think she got the picture of what was happening, she Came into the office and had to go immidiately into the bathroom (shes on the road for a few hours before then and almost always has to pee real bad) When she came out she said she had done her "Duty" and now I could do mine and kind of of snickered, It of cource turned out that she had to do more than pee this time. now she still plays dumb about what's going on in order to make an even bigger joke about it.

Finally things to the next logical step, Helen was in the bathroom when Carol came in from school, she had to pee and couldn't wait and orderd me behind a file cabinet to kneel down and bend overbackwards with my mouth open ( by now I'm actually pretty good at this double jointed position) so that she could squat down and pee right into my mouth " If you spill a drop onto mom's rug your out on the street" she threatened so I had to gussle it down like cracy just to keep up and she really had to pee real bad. Helen came out and just laughed now they keep a spare role of toilet tissue in the corner and I'm called on to "assume the position" once or twice a week. They expect me to be sure not to spill a drop while they act like I'm a regular bucket and when I'm done they wipe themselves and shove the paper into my mouth (this is worse than you might think they don't want any chances of me biting thier fingers so I can't start swallowing the paper till they say so and then thier so much in my mouth I almost choke. Last Week They picked up one of those hospital potty chairs (minus the bucket) and stuck it in the corner so they can sit in comfort instead of squating.

" Wow" said barb when she saw it and looking over to me " It pays to save that kind of junk, could come in handy some day" so I know that it won't be to long until she drops the charade (and her pants) about not knowing what's going on. In the mean time I've just caught up with the First/last/deposites on my rent and have started the car payments, I guess it will be about two maybe three years before I'm no longer in debt to Helen and might hope to save up enough to escape her clutches. meantime they have grown to really take me for granted, has added both "pisspot" and " Chambermaid, or is it pot" to shithead as names I'm expected to answer to and always still jokes when she calls on me to do my special job " Don't choke on this one mom has to pee to" .

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